STABBED THROUGH THE HEART
Jun. 29th, 2021 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nikkernoodle[It's late Thursday night, and the school is far darker than normal. The Band Room is now lit by candle light; far dimmer than electricity, but something that Salieri is fairly used to.
He's there now, seated at the piano, a candle resting in a dish on the edge of the lid as he works, plunking out chords and tinkering with melody and harmony, making notes on the paper, going back, trying again.]
He's there now, seated at the piano, a candle resting in a dish on the edge of the lid as he works, plunking out chords and tinkering with melody and harmony, making notes on the paper, going back, trying again.]
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Date: 2021-07-01 12:22 am (UTC)Leave them. It's fine.
I'll hardly feel a thing.
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Date: 2021-07-01 12:39 am (UTC)[...But then, what does he know about this? Nothing at all. It's why he needed Salieri's help to begin with.
He lets out a breath.
Alright. Alright, as you say.
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:13 am (UTC)Come on, then. [and he's going to walk over to that stage, stepping up onto it]
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:15 am (UTC)...What was that look for?
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:19 am (UTC)...I was only thinking...it's a little bit funny, almost, where I'm going to tell you to stab me.
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:25 am (UTC)What... about it?
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 01:35 am (UTC)[Usually he might pick up what Salieri is putting down, but he's a little uh
on edge
right now.]
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:37 am (UTC)It's here. [he places his hand over his heart, indicating]
You might as well know where it is, in any case. It's yours, after all.
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:43 am (UTC)[And just like that, suddenly it feels like he's the one getting stabbed. He freezes, just, staring at Salieri numbly a moment, filled with an utterly chaotic blend of emotions.]
...Oh.
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:51 am (UTC)Come on. We have a job to do.
1/2
Date: 2021-07-01 02:06 am (UTC)[He moves to take Salieri's hand, but stops himself at the last moment. Frozen, for a bit, trying to get his own heart to calm down.]
I'm not good with matters of-- Well, I'm not good with a lot of things.
[He's just not... good.]
2/3 I lied
Date: 2021-07-01 02:10 am (UTC)If I could begin to be
Half of what you think of me
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to... love...
3/3
Date: 2021-07-01 02:11 am (UTC)I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'cause I think you’re so good
And I’m nothing like you
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Date: 2021-07-01 02:23 am (UTC)He steps forward, reaching up to frame Discord's face, to force him to look at him, picking up the song--]
So that you know
I just adore you
I wish that you knew
What makes me think you're so special.
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Date: 2021-07-01 02:30 am (UTC)does hate this, obviously, all of this, the whole reason they're here
--but it's... it's Antonio and it doesn't make him feel bad at all, despite everything.]
If I could begin to do
Something that does right by you
I would do about anything
I would even learn how to love...
You...
[He lets out a breath, carefully. Long and slow.]
1/2
Date: 2021-07-01 12:25 pm (UTC)Living in Court, Salieri had long ago learned to guard any emotion using careful control. After all, anything he said, or did, or felt could be used against him; turned into his undoing. Love, especially, was an emotion often only wielded by those young and naive or wise to the ways in which it could become a knife with which to stab another person in the back. Salieri had guarded his heart especially during that time; done his best to repress it to a point that, when his heart stirred with emotion so strong that he was no longer able to suppress said emotions, they began to tear him apart, to push him to madness.
And then he was brought here, initially wiped clean of his conflicting emotions, surrounded by those who were kind, and steady, and sure--people that gave their love and support freely; people who had been lonely, guarded, like him and were learning to trust as much as he was; people who called him friend, confidant, father. To not only be given their trust and love so freely, but also to be allowed to display his own through words, gestures, actions without fear of rancor or suspicion has been a gift all its own, and a freeing one.
Then, there's Discord. Discord, whom he despised (loathing, unadulterated loathing,) then found a strange kinship with through their shared love of barbed and pointed insults (Ding-dong! The SQUIP is dead-,) allowing him the space to express the most terrible of his emotions and thoughts without wondering what the others would think of him. And now this: affection grown through understanding, through seeing the purpose to his actions, the softness beneath the barbs. The affection Discord holds for so many here, especially the children--it was something of the final nail in Salieri's metaphorical coffin. He's in love. He has been, for a while, unacknowledged until Maya dragged it out of him; mostly unspoken and unaddressed until Farrah and Spongebob prodded him into action. Now, to hear this from Discord himself that he's loved in return, in the same way...it's wonderful and terrible and makes him feel both elated and devastated all at once.
It's simply not fair. This shouldn't have to be a choice he has to make: to be trapped in this catch-22, where they die if he does and they die if he doesn't. Where the only option left is this small, wild chance that maybe, together, he and Discord can save their family. So they must take it. There are no other viable options. Salieri thinks of them one after another--his children, his friends, his family; thinks to himself, as if he could somehow reach them this way:
He hopes they'll hear it, somehow. That his love, his regret, his resolve will reach them; that maybe they'll forgive him for this.]
2/2
Date: 2021-07-01 12:25 pm (UTC)Je t'aime.
[it's murmured, quietly, for Discord alone to hear--]
Ti amo.
[--it's for him, for them, and that thrice-damned Wizard can't have it--]
Ich liebe dich.
[--in every language he knows.]
I love you.
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Date: 2021-07-01 01:20 pm (UTC)Then those words. Four different languages, but meaning and feeling in them so clear even if he wasn't able to understand them. And he can feel his breath halting for a second, then two, three... and he swallows, trying to compose himself. He can't go falling apart now--
(but if not now, then when?)
--this is difficult enough for the both of them without him feeling like he's being taken apart by the wave of emotion going through him, somehow both warm and icy at the same time, comforting and terrifying. Loving.
Oh.]
Four different ways. Overachiever.
[Muttered, quiet, joking, but he's still holding on a bit too tight.]
...I love you.
[It bears saying again and again right now. He's clinging to the words as much as he is to Salieri.]
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Date: 2021-07-01 02:18 pm (UTC)You deserve to hear it in every way that I am able express, mon amour.
[somewhere, distantly, thunder rumbles. Ominous. Salieri squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, pressing closer, trying to remain here, now for just a moment longer. He's clinging now, too, as if that could keep them here, on the precipice, in this space where it's just them, together, before they tumble into that abyss]
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Date: 2021-07-01 04:59 pm (UTC)But he'd really rather not be the one to end this, so, coward that he is, he... doesn't. Simply trying to forget what they're planning for a bit.]
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Date: 2021-07-01 05:21 pm (UTC)For a moment, Salieri tucks his face against Discord's neck, allowing himself this as he breathes in, slow and deep, trying to memorize the feeling of Discord's arms around him, the scent, the safety.
And then he breathes out, and pulls back, slowly, reluctantly. Presses a kiss to Discord's cheek. Drops down off his toes and steps back, out of the circle of his arms]
...come on. [it's gentle, kind--taking Discord by the hand as Salieri leans down to retrieve that dagger, and guide him over to that cloth]
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Date: 2021-07-01 05:32 pm (UTC)Murder has never been it, really. Even without the reason, the person he's killing, this would be too much. Add all that in and, well.
...He'll... reluctantly reach over to the dagger.]
So... the heart, then.
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Date: 2021-07-01 06:09 pm (UTC)That's right. Though my legs are likely to go out from under me, so...[he starts to kneel on that cloth, gently tugging on Discord's hand to get him to kneel as well]
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Date: 2021-07-01 06:22 pm (UTC)[He'll lower himself down to the floor, then, kneeling as well. The dagger feeling so heavy in his hand.]
...Alright.
[And he'll just slide an arm around Salieri, just... to steady him. Keep him in place and support him, as much as he can.]
You'll guide me?
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